This morning, I looked out the window and was thrilled to see blue skies. I’m a magnet for sunny days and whenever I see rays of sunshine, I just want to go outside.
I have always adored the outdoors, especially wandering around my garden. Over the years, I have been fascinated to see the plants develop and change throughout the seasons. I know I still have so much to learn, still every day I am spellbound by the majestic beauty of the landscape.
Recently, whilst admiring a band of beautiful colours, textures and tones, it got me thinking. Each of these delicate flowers has an important role in nature and healing. Yet, I was also reminded that the word “FLOWER” is a wonderful acronym for listening.
Each letter represents a different step in active listening.
F – face to face. When you are communicating with someone on a face-to-face basis, body language plays a major role in the conversation. We need to look at the other person, face on.
L – Lean in towards the other person. We can display great courtesy and interest when someone is talking, by gently bending our body towards them. Whereas sitting back is indirectly saying to them – I don’t care or I am not interested.
O – Open posture. Sometimes we stand or sit with our legs and arms folded. This might be a habit or we might feel the cold. However, we need to keep an open posture to show we are open and welcoming, especially when people approach us and talk to us.
W – Watch. There is nothing worse than someone who looks over your shoulder, or around the room when you are talking to them. Yes, it’s okay to glance away occasionally or look at the group when there are several people in the conversation. Yet, it’s polite to maintain eye contact with the person talking.
E – Empathise. Showing empathy is vital for connection. We may genuinely feel for the other person and wish to demonstrate a level of understanding. Yet, we still need to show the other person that we hear them and that their feelings are valid, even when we may not agree or relate to them. Verbal nods, words of understanding and body language are vital.
R – Relax. By relaxing we are allowing ourselves to further develop an open-mind. We will naturally be less distracted, calmer, self-aware and definitely more tolerant.
So, next time you are sitting down to have an important conversation with your customer, colleague, friend, family or loved one think of your favourite FLOWER. And work through each letter to check in and make sure you really LISTEN.